Our Modern Masculinity Crisis

by | Dec 5, 2018 | Emotional Intelligence, Emotions, Men's Issues, Responsibility, Shame, Vulnerability

I learned a lot from being raised in a fundamental religion otherwise known as a cult and now that we are approached the year 2020 and this fairly localized cult is crumbling it’s helped me understand something important about human psychology. Some people are committed to narratives and identities regardless of what proof and evidence are around them. It has also taught me that ignorance in this day and age is absolutely a choice. I mention this only because I believe that the same thing is true for certain social justice bully groups that resemble a cult more than anything else.

Data Doesn’t Lie

Males are in crisis and even though people lie, statistical data does not. It’s not hard to find data online and I’m not going to rehash it at length. Men dominate statistics for chronic addiction, chronic homelessness, chronic incarceration and suicide. Boys are dominating the statistics on school drop out rates, failure to launch, not earning enough credits to graduate high school and suicide. My local area has seen a recent spike in teen suicide, more than 140% with about 80% of those completed suicides being boys. If there is patriarchy firmly in charge that works only to protect the best interest of males, why are so many of them failing so badly?

As a therapist, I have done extensive work with families including broken families that are involved with family court and overwhelmingly dads have been systematically stripped of their parental rights and their money and often in a fashion that appears predatory. These men are vulnerable and they get crushed by family court. One statistic that often gets overlooked is the post-divorce suicide rate for men. When they are left penniless and forbidden to see their kids it’s no wonder that they contemplate suicide. I also believe that these guys are a high suicide group because post-divorce also leaves them isolated and nomadic. Male spaces have been broken up and too many men are facing isolation because they are lacking positive male association that is absolutely vital to their personal success and wellbeing.

Feminists Want Males to Fail

Talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. Feminists try to pass themselves off altruistic saints but the second that we ignore what they say and observe their actions, an entirely different story emerges. I was exposed to feminism at a young age, my sister was a feminist and has one fit in that circle. She has always hated me because I was born male and she made sure that I knew it.

Men are now being blamed for anything and everything under the sun and we’re tired of it. I was recently watching a short clip on YouTube where a single mom was getting a makeover and listening to her dating woes and the hostess was giving her a big giant spoonful of “you poor thing” when she was talking about her tendency to date bad boys. Whose fault is it, really, if she dates bad boys? Modern women are blaming men for everything and they take virtually no accountability for their own actions. We are being told that we are bad, evil and responsible for everything bad in the world and we wonder why male suicide rates are so high.

When I go online I see men refuting feminist talking points or pointing out the blatant hypocrisy and double standards I feel like it’s beating a dead horse. Most of the people that buy into feminism are being willfully ignorant. The wage gap has been debunked a dozen times and I think that we need to stop affording feminists the generous assumption that they actually care about the truth, care about being intellectually honest or are willing to question their world view when confronted with contradictory evidence. Anyone who is intellectually honest will come around eventually when they see the hypocrisy, the accurate data and just their overall bad behavior. Men need to focus their efforts in more productive and useful areas or we will continue to fail and our sons will be worse off than we are. Feminists want us to fail and they are succeeding; it’s working and it’s time for us to look at this from different angles. Arguing with them or disputing their talking points is pointless when they will warp and distort anything necessary to maintain the stances that they have. It’s a waste of effort.

We Have Become Dispersed and Nomadic

Not only have women turned on men but men have turned on men. I see a lot of guys that are frustrated with women and feminists but they are equally frustrated by the male feminists and white knights. There are a lot of derogatory names for these guys that I hope that we can give up using. Don’t get me wrong, I am equally guilty about getting frustrating with these guys. A few years ago I got into an argument on facebook with a male feminist a couple of years or so ago with an interesting outcome, his wife ended up taking my side on facebook and encouraged him to consider my points. In retrospect, I wished I had approached him differently. I know that feminists will not only fail him down the road but will likely turn him into the next villain. We know that sooner or later he’ll fail his purity test and put in the public stockade and I believe that we, as males, need to be there for those guys when they fail their purity tests.

Male Express

We need to recapture male identity partially through positive male interaction. We need to relearn how males express and identify with emotion. We need more outlets that are positive and safe. I have great female friends too that have often given me support in hard times but it’s not always good enough. Women just don’t understand what it’s like to be men. We experience emotions differently and express them differently and we face different issues.  

Dire Straights

A lot of the content I create is based around self-improvement material. I hope all males will make their own pursuit of excellence their higher priority but I also understand that too many of them are looking at the glimmer of sunlight from the bottom of a deep hole and living happily seems like a pipe dream. Guys, trust me, I’ve clawed my way out of my own holes too and I want you to know that you can get there, it takes that first step and persistent efforts. We’re here to help and support you, I promise that it gets easier and it’s a much more positive journey when you let your brothers help you.

The right answers exist, you just have to be willing to find them wherever they might be and accept them. If you’ve never truly been happy, take it from someone that never thought he’d get there, it’s so much better than you think and so worth it but it starts with that first couple of steps. We’ll help you through it, you’re not alone.

Share This