Stop Wasting Your Time Trying to Understand Women

by | May 21, 2019 | Connections, Emotional Intelligence, Emotions, Men's Issues, Relationships, Self-respect, Validation, Values

I’ve been noticing in men’s circles lately, that there are a lot of guys expending a lot of effort, time and energy analyzing and deciphering the behavior of women. I just don’t think that this accomplishes anything good. As far as I can tell, the only thing that this accomplishes is that it causes men to ruminate – meaning that they run the same thing over and over in their mind and it this creates a lot of deafening noise like an audio feedback loop. Put a microphone up to a speaker and you’ll see exactly what I mean. The loud screeching is the result of the sound entering the mic, coming out the speaker and going back through the mic rapidly, creating a deafening sound.

The more you loop it and ruminate, the more it just becomes noise in your head. I think that a lot of us hope that we’ll crack some kind of code that will usher in some kind of enlightenment. Guys, this isn’t productive and it’s a useless distraction that is wasting your time in your pursuit for personal excellence. Before I continue onto why this is completely pointless and a waste of time I want to make a bottom line point for living an effective life.

Personal pro tip: Ask yourself, does this (whatever ‘this’ might be at the time) produce results that I want? Does this help me accomplish anything good? Does anything good or positive come from this?

The older I get the more value I find being outcome driven. This simply means that there are certain results or outcomes that I want in life and if certain behaviors work against me in my pursuit of those outcomes, I work to let those things go. Complaining, for example, is completely useless and people can choose to do it or they can choose to not do it. It’s completely pointless and useless and will get in the way of what I really want.

A great example of this is NBA player, Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors. In the 2019 playoffs, he decided that arguing with the refs was taking him out of playing his game. He wasn’t going to change the call the ref had made, so why put any energy into it. As a result, he got fewer techs and his game stats soared along with his teams success.

Understanding Women

Men and women are wired differently. They just are. Men find women to be confusing and women find men to be confusing, it’s been a reoccurring theme since the beginning of time. It’s not because women are crazy and men are not crazy or vice versa, it’s because we’re just wired differently. We’re all actually crazy but male crazy is different from female crazy. There are mountains of evidence that supports this in the form of brain scans and the observations of human behavior. The basic mental framework of males is fundamentally different than the basic mental framework of females. I often see men that try and squeeze female behavior into their own mental framework and what they often end up making conclusions that only increase their frustration and sense of powerlessness in life.

Men struggle to understand women because we aren’t women and understanding them is often a matter of really getting out of your own head. Still, I contend that doing so is merely a waste of time. Granted, I know there are a lot of guys out there in relationships who are trying to improve their communication and empathy, which are worthy pursuits but successful relationships aren’t a one-sided effort. It’s our job to not only make efforts to understand our partner but also to communicate to our partner and act in ways that don’t make it difficult for them to understand us. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable thing to ask from female partners. They are typically better at communicating themselves on an emotional level than we are. Women who are unwilling to make effort in these regards are not deserving of good relationships with good men. If she thinks that the man in the relationship should do all of the heavy lifting then you may want to start thinking about a future without her. I don’t know about you but… life is too short to spend in crappy relationships with entitled women that don’t want to make an effort.

I really do believe that there are emotionally manipulative women out there. They acquire power by being confusing and contradictory and I can’t help but wonder if they laugh at the men who tirelessly try to sort these contradictions out and try to decipher their crazy behaviors.

Women Bashing

In all honesty, I’m just as frustrated with modern women as anybody. I really work, every day, to be the best possible person that I know how to be. However I will always be a villain and a monster in the eyes of many simply because of the condition that I was born with. I find modern women to be selfish, entitled, spoiled and controlling. Not all of them, of course, I know some really amazing women, most of them are women that I work with in the mental health field. There are great women in the world and we should not paint in broad strokes, we should not generalize. In my world, that is a sign of low intelligence and just being, well, stupid. Don’t do it. Don’t get suckered in.

Despite my own frustrations with feminism and modern women, I find that the men that talk about and analyze the behavior of women just sound like they are bashing women in the name of self-help and personal growth. Believe me, guys, if I thought it was productive to bash women or even analyze their behavior and chalk it up as them being selfish, I’d do it all day. If I thought that it would improve the state of things in society or contribute to the greater good, I’d jump in head first. To an extent, I agree that pointing out the negatives in modern women is like shooting fish in a barrel but that doesn’t help me, it doesn’t help you and it doesn’t help the bigger picture.

I can also see that there is some benefit in pointing out the flagrant hypocrisy, double standards and heavy favoritism that happens in family court as the way of “red pill” males but there has to be something beyond that. Too many guys get stuck on this part and need to move past the red pilling and take action that will actually get them somewhere.

Understanding Yourself

Take a moment and ask yourself, honestly. Do you understand yourself? Do you confuse yourself? Do you understand why you feel certain things and act in certain ways? Are you aware of your own biases, your own contradictions and your own eccentricities? This is being introspective and insightful. The inner workings of your own mind is a big enough mystery and confusing labyrinth by itself. How you can expect to understand somebody else when you don’t even understand yourself? Get yourself straightened out first, guys, it’s really a much more worthy pursuit.

You don’t maximize your pursuit of personal excellence by focusing on other people. Do you want to be better? Do you want to be happier? Healthier? More wealthy? Or do you want to feel frustrated, bitter, angry and powerless? I’m firmly confident that our world around us will naturally improve when we focus on improving ourselves. If you don’t know how to practice effective introspection then make that your goal instead of trying to dissect and analyze the behavior of women.

Here at Orion we’re going to give you the road maps and help you start taking steps of action after you’ve taken the red pill. As frustrating as our current situations may be, it’s pointless to sit around and groan about it. Work on you. Be the best version of you so that you can give yourself the love and respect that will help you get the life that you want. When you get yourself figured out in positive ways then you’ll be far more likely to attract the type of women that will welcome effective and healthy guys into their lives.

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